Selfish: A Homestar Runner fanfic
Mar. 1st, 2015 10:35 amIt was another July scorcher down in Free Country, USA. Strong Bad and The Cheat had commandeered Strong Sad’s Easy-To-Go-Tent, and were now using it for shade.
“I dunno, The Cheat,” said Strong Bad as he cracked open a Cold One, “how are we gonna pull a caper on Homestar? I mean we’ve tried everything! Fire, gasoline, rotten eggs, spoiled milk, day-old hamburger, the ol’ ‘tuna fish daily special’, more fire… We could fill a whole novel with all our attempts to prank the crap outta that guy! But nothing phases him.”
The Cheat groaned.
“Yeah, I don’t think we’ll ever get Homestar if we put a crack team of scientists-slash-detectives-slash-reporters on the case.”
“Hey guys, you talking ‘bout me?” asked Homestar, peeping his head in the tent.
“Go away, Homestar! It’s none of your business.”
“Well why’d you guys say my name a whole bunch if it’s none of my concern? What, you think a guy can’t come into his own conversation?”
“It’s not your conversation, we’re just talking about you!”
“Oh, so that’s how you gonna play me, is it?” sobbed Homestar. “Well, fine! I never realized before how selfish you guys are! Selfish, selfish selfish!” He ran away from the tent in tears.
“Whoa!” said Strong Bad. “I’m willing to call that a win if you are!” The Cheat agreed.
(A
comment_fic fill. Special thanks to
leni_ba for the original prompt.)
“I dunno, The Cheat,” said Strong Bad as he cracked open a Cold One, “how are we gonna pull a caper on Homestar? I mean we’ve tried everything! Fire, gasoline, rotten eggs, spoiled milk, day-old hamburger, the ol’ ‘tuna fish daily special’, more fire… We could fill a whole novel with all our attempts to prank the crap outta that guy! But nothing phases him.”
The Cheat groaned.
“Yeah, I don’t think we’ll ever get Homestar if we put a crack team of scientists-slash-detectives-slash-reporters on the case.”
“Hey guys, you talking ‘bout me?” asked Homestar, peeping his head in the tent.
“Go away, Homestar! It’s none of your business.”
“Well why’d you guys say my name a whole bunch if it’s none of my concern? What, you think a guy can’t come into his own conversation?”
“It’s not your conversation, we’re just talking about you!”
“Oh, so that’s how you gonna play me, is it?” sobbed Homestar. “Well, fine! I never realized before how selfish you guys are! Selfish, selfish selfish!” He ran away from the tent in tears.
“Whoa!” said Strong Bad. “I’m willing to call that a win if you are!” The Cheat agreed.
(A
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